Monday, December 29, 2008

Sweet Remembrance

Jacob Troy Beatty
December 29, 2000
We Love You, Angel Baby


Eight years ago today I gave birth to a special little spirit, Jacob Troy.

And while he couldn't be with us long, he is still a vital and important part of our family. And I am eternally grateful for each of the precious fifteen minutes he got to be with us.

It's funny how time works. You think at the time you will never be the same again. That something so hard will never be forgotten, but time really does help pain to fade. And, while the memory is strong, it isn't quite so sharp.

I am feeling especially tender this year because Jacob would have been baptized this year. Probably this very week. But he wasn't with us long enough to reach that milestone.

Still, I want you to know that I really am glad that Jacob is a part of our family. I wouldn't change it. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather have him here than not, but i'd take every second I knew him and all the pain that came after than to have never have known him at all.

So, Happy Birthday my sweet Jacob.

15 comments:

onehm said...

I know it's not the same, but we had a sweet little one in our home for 4 months (foster care) that we thought we would adopt and she was taken from us to move to the Indian reservation. It was heart-wrenching, and I thought I actually might die. I agree with your comments. Time can be a blessing in that way.
I am uplifted by your point of view. You are inspirational.

Puhlman said...

I never knew that you had an angel baby. I can see now some of the events in your life have strengthened you and made you who you are now. I hope I am not being nosy but I am curious about what happened. My sister had a baby die at 6 hrs. old and I am just curious. My heart goes out to you.

Hilary said...

Awh, I remember those times. We got the message after a trip to Drew's parents house. I'm sure it's great for many people to hear that life goes on after something like that. I know it stands still for quite a while.

Amy said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you today as you remember Jacob.

I admire your strength and courage. Your ability to cope with such a loss, your openess to remember each year and your faith to keep going amaze me.

I know that by the times our lives are over, we will have helped each other through many losses- the thought saddens me. Yet I am grateful to have the knowledge of the Gospel and close friends like you that make the burdens lighter.

I'm always here for you and love you!

Andrea said...

Can't wait to meet this Beatty boy one day! Happy Birthday.

Me said...

I'm with Chia!! Can't wait to meet him and to see our DD Paige who was due Dec 17th, 13 years ago.

Brianna said...

I was always so impressed with how you spoke of Jacob and how you dealt with what happened. It has always stayed with me. Do you still collect the lions?
Thinking of you...

Lara said...

What a sweet tribute to a special little guy. My thoughts were with you today.

Amberlyn said...

Awww, you have brought tears to my eyes.

I too admire your strength and testimony.

Charlene said...

What a wonderful remembrance!! I remember the day that I received your letter. You are a wonderful example to me about strength and faith.

Paulette said...

Made me cry remembering this special child of God. I send my love to you.
Paulette

Kimber said...

I was thinking about sweet Jacob just the other day. What comfort it is to know that he will someday be part of your family again.

Paul said...

Jacob is lucky to have you guys. Know we're thinking about you.

Jolinda said...

I remember being in Provo soon after this happened. It made me sad to know this had happened in your life. I know that Heavenly Father was thinking of all you would learn and the love you could share in those fifteen minutes. Love that and love you.

Mom said...

HI Denise,
I don't know if you remember me from the Vienna Ward...Alex Bates sent me the link to your blog. We are expecting our second baby in April and found out at our 20 week sono that she has a chromosomal disorder. The average life expectancy for baby's with this disorder is 4 days. We are just hoping that we even have a few minutes with her. I remember one time you were a guest in Young Women's on a day I was too. I remember listening to you talk about baby Jacob and was very touched. I never thought I would face something similar. I would love to talk to you sometime more about your experience if you don't mind sharing. Your family is just beautiful...i don't know when the picture was taken on your main page, but your kids are already so grown up! Hope you are all well.
-Alicia Bassett (DeeAnn's little sis)

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