2.3.13

Sunday was such a great day.

I really enjoyed church today. Every class was good. Every testimony was perfect.

I realized that I get so much more out of church when I am in a place to receive. And when I'm not in that place...church does little for me.

It's taken a while, but I'm so glad to be here again.

We hung out with the kids...watched a movie. and a little football.

Perfect day.

this one melts my heart.

Sunday Musings

So...I have been asked several times, by several different people where I have been.

I've been here.

um. Mostly.

It has been a busy travel season for us.

Troy and I went to London. And to Utah.

And then the family went to Florida.

And I flew to Utah again.

Did I say I'd been here?

I might have to rethink that statement.

But...for all that has happened, including halloween, Josh's birthday and Thanksgiving...I have been rather quiet.

And I'm hoping to remedy that today...and hopefully in the days to come.

Today's talks at church were all about gratitude and they really got me thinking.

One of the talks was by our very own Miss Emma, who gave her first talk in sacrament meeting and did a marvelous job.

Emma said in her talk not expressing gratitude is like wrapping a present and then not giving it.

Another speaker said that true gratitude requires an actual expression of those feelings.

And the third speaker talked about being grateful for our trials.

All of these talks seemed directly aimed at me...and I felt the need to say out loud...how grateful I am for my life.

For my trials.

For my pain.

For the adversity.

And for all the good that comes from facing down the hard things and making it out the other side.

But...more than just making it...coming out stronger.

And happier.

And feeling so richly blessed that words seems inadequate.

But...words are all I have right now.

I know we are each at different places in our lives and having trials means something different for everyone.

Sometimes we have trials and it's all we can do to survive them.

Sometimes we have trials and they seem more than we can bear.

And sometimes...when we're ready...we have trials that knock us to the ground...and by the grace of God...we are lifted up again.

Carried in His arms.

And blessed more than we ever imagined possible.

So...if you've been wondering where I am...i'm still here.

And i'm good.

Really, really good.

Sunday Musings

Things I learned this week:

1. I am technologically dependent ... nay ... addicted.

The internet went out this week and I was basically cut off from the rest of the world. No phone. No email. Nothing.

It was nice in some small way not to be so connected. But I found that I actually communicate more via email and facebook than the telephone...and it was hard not to have access.

I also missed facebook, reading blogs, and writing on my own blog.

2. I get a little cranky ... nay ... ornery ... when i don't have internet.

Getting the internet back was an ordeal. I had to call comcast at least a half dozen times. And the phone system wasn't working properly, so after getting through a gazillion menus it hung up on me. Six times. It made me crazy...and cranky. Sorry Troy.

3. I don't like comcast ... nay ... i hate comcast, but verizon wasn't any better.

After getting fed up with comcast's customer service, I called verizon to switch. Well, after being on hold for 20 minutes, I decided that if they couldn't answer the phone to sell me something, they probably weren't going to pick up the phone to fix it.

4. I really like ... nay ... love my primary class.

They are such a great group of kids and I really just love watching them learn the gospel.

5. I really love ... yes ... love my "tough guy" husband.

Troy gave a talk in church today and it was really great. Of course he had to say how he was going to ruin his "tough guy" image by crying.

Mikalya said, "Dad's a tough guy?"

"No dear. He was just being ironic."

So glad to be up online again!

Sunday Musings

We have been sitting down the dinner more as a family this year and it has been a really transformative experience for us.

We spent a good deal of the last year running in several different directions each night and not really finding time to eat as a family.

My goal this year has been to cook...not only to have good meals for the family, but also so that we would carve out that time for our family every day.

In addition to eating together, we also have started to use this time as our family scripture study. We spend some time eating and talking, and then we pull out the scriptures and read.

It has been a great blessing. 

Not only are we reading the scriptures together, but I have noticed that this time together has fostered a little more love and a little less contention in our house. We are getting along better, serving more and really growing as a family.

In fact, the scripture reading is going so well...I am finding that as the scriptures are coming alive for us, we have better discussions and the kids want to read more.

We are currently in Mosiah and learning about Abinadi and King Noah. The kids have been fascinated by this story and look forward to hearing more each day.

We have been reading one chapter at a time ... and the story has gotten so good the kids don't want to stop. I have to say that it has been such a joyous experience for me to see them so into it. One night this week, when I closed the book, they were actually disappointed.

As a mother -- I just want to yell -- O happy day!

Something is working.

Isn't that all you need sometimes...to know that something (anything) you are doing is having an impact?

It's funny how the smallest changes can make the biggest difference! 

Sunday Busy Sunday

Doesn't he look so serious? It's Sunday. So of course he's working on fulfilling the duties of his calling.

I really am glad that he does...even if I have moments where I wish he wouldn't.

Is that horrible? Ever have a love/hate relationship with a calling. Especially when it wasn't your own?

My own calling is great. I have enjoyed being Josh's teacher.

When I found out that I was going to be his teacher, I knew he would not be thrilled.

So, I asked him, "Who is the WORST person you could imagine having as your primary teacher?"

He gave it some good thought and said, "Lord Voldemort."

Unfortunately for him, it was even worse than that.

Now that the crying is finally over, I think it's working out just fine!

Sunday Musings

I really enjoyed church today.

My class was super good. I love these children so much and I feel so lucky to be their teacher.

We learned about Jonah and the Whale. It was so awesome to see the scriptures comes alive and feel so real.

LOVE that!

The best part of the lesson had to be when one of the girls asked, "How did Jonah get out of the whale?:

Haha. It's gross. That's what makes it so cool.

(And really, that wasn't actually the best part of the lesson, just the funniest.)

Sunday Musings

Today was a good day.

Troy was very sick and could not attend church with us, but everything else about this day was good.

It was so wonderful to go to church and be uplifted and edified by those around me.

I heard things I needed to hear and feel very blessed.

One of the comments made at church today was the awareness of where our blessings come from and how that in and of itself is a blessing. (Thanks Stephany!)

This is so true for me lately.

I have felt the hand of God in my life and I know that He is with me. Even in my trials. In all my hard days, and in all my good ones too.

It's amazing how much easier everything is to deal with when you know that you are not alone.

I am not alone.

You are not alone.

How much more would we appreciate what we have when we are acutely aware of where the blessings are coming from?

How much more would we appreciate even our trials when we are aware that our Father in Heaven knows us and has crafted each experience for our good?

I am especially glad that I am feeling this way during this crazy busy season.

It's so easy to get caught up in the commercialism of this Christmas season, but right now...I am feeling very aware that this season exists to celebrate the birth of my Savior.

For that I am ever grateful.

Sunday Musings

Easter has not always been a special occasion for me. Before I became religious, it was just another day...but now, trying to live a Christlike life, the day has new meaning for me.

And now, having children, I also enjoy the secular side to Easter. I love watching the children color eggs and go Easter egg hunting. Their joy is contagious.

But as I reflect on the deeper, more sacred part of Easter, I hope that I am teaching my children how to enjoy both the secular and the sacred.

Today's Sunday School lesson was about magnifying our callings, and what kept coming to mind was how it doesn't matter what our calling is...everything we do should be about bringing ourselves, our loved ones, and those that we know to Christ. If what we are doing isn't furthering that goal...then we probably shouldn't be doing it.

I am not saying that there isn't a purpose for fun and frivolity, for even these things can bring us to Christ...I am just saying that we shouldn't care more about the program than we should for the people we are supposed to be serving.

This lent itself nicely to learning in Relief Society about having a broken heart and a contrite spirit.

As I progress on my spiritual journey, and experience highs and lows, I have to say that I am currently in somewhat of a low. It isn't really a low, but it seems low compared to the spiritual high that I have been riding. And it is taking some adjusting.

I think that I could do so much more to serve my Heavenly Father. I'm not beating myself up, I am just saying that I know I can and should do more. As was pointed out today, the only thing that I have that is truly mine, is my free will. And if I am willing to do what my Heavenly Father wants me to do, then I am making the ultimate sacrifice that is available to me.

So that's my goal.

As I think of my Savior and I remember why He came and why He died, it makes me think of why I am here and why I live...There is purpose in my life, and I think that as I really remember that purpose, I will continue to progress and be better.

What joy and hope the Atonement brings and I am grateful for it.

Sunday Musings

Church was really good today.

I have always enjoyed going to Church and found it to be an opportunity for reflection and renewal.

Some weeks are so crazy that the only time I have to spend thinking about my spirituality are those few moments just before I take the sacrament (and if the kids are being particularly rowdy, not even then).

We are, fortunately, at a really great stage with the kids. There is time during the week to read my scriptures and pray, and even time during the sacrament to think about the Savior and be really grateful for my blessings.

I am really thankful for that.

Today's Relief Society lesson was about repentance. While I thought it was a good lesson, at the same time I felt like it was a missed opportunity.

So many times in Church we talk about basic, gospel principles, which we all need. We even sometimes talk about deep doctrine, which we also need. But rarely do we talk about the pracical application of the principles of the Gospel in our day-to-day lives.

I know what I need to do, but sometimes I could use a little more how-to.

There was a quote in the lesson today by Joseph Smith which said, "Let not any man publish his own righteousness, for others can see that for him; sooner let him confess his sins, and then he will be forgiven, and he will bring forth more fruit."

I liked this quote because I think that this is something we are missing. We talk so often of what we are doing right, and about all the good things that we should be doing, but we rarely admit, publically, when we are stuggling and when we could use help.

That reminds me of another quote, "Finding help is easy. It's asking for help that's hard."

I am not saying that we should go around publically confessing our sins, especially the big ones! But wouldn't you love to hear someone say, "I'm really stuggling with finding a good time to have family prayer, and I could use some ideas." Or, "My personal scripture study isn't what I think it should be. I would love to hear how you do it."

I guess we can have those moments in our close, personal relationships, but I would really like to have those discussions in Relief Society. We are supposed to be sisters, and it seems the ideal place to have these type of discussions, but we don't.

I am in a good place now, but I think back to the times when going to church was hard, or when I really struggled with my testimony. I would have loved to know that I wasn't alone. That there were others who knew exactly what I was going through.

So, I am going to try a little harder to speak up...and avoid missing those opportunties. Who knows when we may get another one?