The Last Day

Katie had her last day of preschool. Ever.

She's changed so much over this last year. She's still tiny, but she has grown a little taller and she's a little more mature. You don't realize how much can change in a year.

She has learned so much and I know she's ready for kindergarten.

In fact, she's already started asking me when kindergarten is going to start.

#it'sgoingtobealongsummer

End of an Era

Sweet Katie graduated from preschool today.

It was a happy occasion...and only slightly bittersweet. 

Josh, Becky and Katie have all attended this preschool -- and Katie will be our last to ever go.

I am so glad she had such a good experience, and I know that she is going to be so excited to go to kindergarten in the fall.

It's hard to believe that we are entering this next stage of life -- it came so quickly and I know that the coming years will pass even more quickly. 

Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy.

Help me remember to enjoy!

sugar sweet

Katie was sooooo excited to celebrate her "pretend" birthday today at school. Since preschool is out next week, she was able to take cupcakes to school today and have a little party.

She was hilarious today. She got a special reward for being so good at the dentist...the first time was a lala loopsy doll. And this time she wanted lala loopsy socks.

She really wanted to wear them today...and dang if she isn't so gosh darn cute!! (I know..i'm not totally biased. lol.)

Not So Tough

Katie is the cavity queen.

Long live the queen.

She had her 2nd appointment to finish with her new filings and it was awful.

As she lay on the chair, feeling the hurt and pleading with me with her big, blue eyes, I just wanted to cry.

This is the same thing that happened when she went in for her tubes.

Why is it that I can never remember that I am just not this tough?

But it got me to thinking about sacrifice and kids and love.

I felt so helpless as all I could do was watch her suffer. I held her hand. I tried to reassure her, but I had to let her have this experience, because in the end, it would be for her own good.

And isn't that so like life?

We go though trials. And sometimes they are really difficult experiences. But we are never alone. And most likely, these experiences will be for our own good.

And sitting with Katie today, I had a tiny glimpse of what our Heavenly Father must feel for us...as we suffer.

I would have gladly traded places with Katie today. I would have taken her pain and felt her suffering if it meant that she didn't have to. Because, surely it is a lot easier to do the suffering ourselves than it is to watch someone we love suffer -- especially our own child. But...I have to let her experience life, just like I am experiencing it. And hopefully, I (and Katie) will know the good and appreciate it more because we have had to have the bad.

I know what we experienced today is just such a small fraction of what others we know are going through, but I grateful for still for the remind that my Heavenly Father loves me.

Weigh Down

Well. It's not going well. Not well at all.

The diet I mean.

I have gained and lost the same two pounds several times over the last few weeks.

And I wonder if I'm ready for this.

I see other people doing it, and having great success, and I think...hey! I can do this.

Then I go back to my regularly scheduled life.

Things are good, but it's a really busy time of year and I'm a stress eater. This combination is surely the quickest way to diet failure I can think of.

But...I gave myself a gift.

I gave myself a year. Resolving that gain or lose or even just staying the same...I will make changes in my life that I believe in the long term will be of great benefit...and continue to try to work my diet program.

I'm making better food choices.

I'm moving a little more.

I'm trying to make changes that I think will be healthy and enhance my life.

So...even though I'm nearly back where I started at my first weigh in (which, BTW, starting a diet right before spring break is just silly)...I'm committed.

And...that my friends...is a victory in and of itself.

Weigh In

I'm down 1.8 pounds.

And I have to say, some small part of me was disappointed. 

I kind of expected a bigger loss and I realized that this is one reason that I continue to be heavier than I like -- I'm an instant gratification kind of gal.

I want what I want, when I want it.

Sigh.

Life doesn't always make this possible, and I realize that many things worth having aren't going to come easy. I need to have patience. With the process. With myself.

I need to reframe the loss into more of a positive. The scale moved down. I am continuing on the journey. It was a good week. I wasn't hungry and I really like the new Weight Watches Points system.

That isn't to say that I didn't have cravings -- because I did. And I was able to indulge -- I had a piece of cake, ate out twice and even had a little candy. And I still lost.

And I think that's how I need to think about this -- that it will take however long it takes -- and that it may take a long time, but it's going to be worth it. 

Bit the Bullet

So...I did it.

I bit the bullet.

I joined (re-joined) weight watchers today.

I have mixed feelings about it.

I know I need to be healthier and I really have sincerely tried to lose weight over the years -- but I am a stress eater and someone who doesn't deal well with delayed gratification.

This is not a good combination.

But I have several friends who have had great success on the program, and the latest, my friend Lauril is a total inspiration to me.

I lost a lot of weight right after Katie was born and one of my happiest moments was realizing that everything in the plus size store was just too big and I needed go shop at a regular store. Seriously. O Happy Day.

But i've been stuck where I am for quite a while, and in fact noticed the scale starting to move in the wrong direction.

I refuse to go there again.

But I also know I need to do something different to make any lasting change in my life and I hope this is the start.

I have made a real effort to move away from the pessimistic, somewhat sad person that I used to be and it's been a strange thing.

I have tried to complain less. To look for the good more. To let go of the past. Not to beat myself up for mistakes.

And now I am hoping I am ready to take the next step. Being optimistic. Believing in myself. Believing that I can do hard things.

We have started to get up at 5:30 am and having family scripture study and family prayer. It's so very hard at time of day to get up and do it.

But I have already seen what a huge blessing it's been to our family and  I think it fits right in there with the idea that we can all do hard things.

At some point today I even had the thought that it might be helpful to tape some positive affirmations up on my mirror to reinforce the idea that I know can do this. That I can choose this for myself.

That's when I realized that somewhere along the way I have started to be like my perennially happy husband -- and it gave me a moment of pause.

I think that's the last place I expected my life's journey to take me!

Life is a Zoo

We played hooky today. Shhhh. : )

Troy had the day off work and suggested that we take the little kids to the zoo.

So, off we went -- and we could not have picked a nicer day. 70 degrees. sunny. perfect.

The orangatans were out when we got there and this was one of everyone's favorite things. Love seeing them move about the zoo on the overhead lines.

The kids had a blast!

This pizza playground is so funny.

Some of the other favorite animals of the day:

The Big Cats.

The turtles.

Loved the stinging nettles.

Always love the butterfly house. I guess it's too early in the season as there were only two types of butterflies out today.

And who doesn't love the pandas? We got to see them both outside and inside today. Very cool.

And each of the kids wanted a turn with the camera...so I turned over my baby and they each too a photo. This one from Becky was one of my favorites.

Peeks

I promised myself that I wouldn't do any personal blogging until I got my last few photo sessions were edited.

Want a peek?

These are on their way to you Sheri!

And of course...this little bit of goodness.

Don't these just make you want another? : )

Well...maybe not, but maybe Jen will just have to let me come over and hold hers again.

Blogging on Blogging

I have opinions.

Did  you know that?

haha.

Of course you did. 

But, I have found myself starting posts and deleting them...unsure of what to say or share.

I have been heavily self-editing and it ends up not being worth sharing after I have taken out everything that it seems like I couldn't share. (did you follow that?)

I know -- this too seems highly ironic after all the over sharing I have done about my surgery.

I end up wishing I could be more like my friend Hilary, who posts about all kinds of things and shares her opinions freely. I love the snapshot her family will get of what kind of person she was and really enjoy being able to read about what was going on in the world today.

Or...if I could be more like my friend Lara, who had gotten so good about writing about the everyday stuff that it just seemed natural that when her family hit a bump in the road, she would use her blog to update and uplilft everyone she knows.

So...I'm hoping to do a little more blogging. Keeping it real. Sharing not just our family stories, but mine as well.

Any thoughts on how to do this? : )

6 weeks out

I got the all clear today from my doctor. I've healed up nicely and all restrictions have been lifted.

Thank goodness, because not being able to pick up more than 5 pounds has been difficult.

To celebrate Troy and I went to Graffiato's. It was A-MAZING.

Try the gnocchi!

It is owned by Mike Isabella (of Top Chef fame) and he was there today...being taped and photographed and stuff. I know it's dorky...but I thought it was cool.

V Day

If you know us, you know our history with Valentine's Day is not a good one.

See here, here, or here for just a few examples.

So, I am happy to report that Valentine's Day did not suck.

I know.

I'm shocked too.

It wasn't anything special. But we did get to go to dinner together. At the same time. In the same place.

And honestly, being together was all that really mattered.

39 baby

Troy is 39 today.

My word. 39.

That's old.

Of course, Troy is comforted by the thought that I am always going to be older than him. : )

It was a pretty low key day. Troy wanted to spend a quiet evening together...we had dinner at a really nice restaurant and watched a show at the Kennedy Center with friends. 

In my book...that's pretty great day.

Happy Birthday sweetheart. 

I hope this is the best year yet.

ps. doesn't he look good with the beard? 

Almost 2 weeks

I had my first post op visit today and everything is healing nicely. My incisions scars (all 7!) are healed up, although the doctor says they will continue to change in appearance over the next 12 months.

Additionally I received the pathology report on my uterus...which was as expected...not normal...but nothing they hadn't expected.

And sadly my parents went home today. I know they were happy to come and help, but I know they were equally happy to go and finally get some rest!

I just don't know how we would have done it without them and I'm just so grateful they could come out. I'm very blessed to have such good parents.

And what did I do on my first day on my own? oh yeah....I overdid it....and now I'm ready to lay down...maybe til next week.

But really, all is well and I'm making good progress. Can't ask for more than that!