You may recall that I posted a few weeks back about Free Range Children here, a movement to allow our children to have a little more freedom and experience a little more on their own.
Well, since then I have been thinking about what I could do to give Mikayla a little more freedom. She is very mature and going to be 12 in the fall...so I think she is ready to do more. I mean, she is going to be baby sitting soon...if I am going to trust her to watch other people's kids...she could probably handle a few other things too.
Anyway. Today, I suggested that she take a walk to the 7-11 and get a treat. It is about a 10 minute walk (maybe less), just outside our housing development.
Her response startled me. She was suspicious!
She wanted to know why I wanted her to go, why now, why this freedom. Why, why, why?
It totally caught me off guard and made me realize that I really was holding on too tight.
So, another resolution not to hold on so tight, and a determination to allow her a little more freedom.
Any ideas?
11 comments:
Yes...let her babysit before she is 12! I'll take her this Saturday...
Does she babysit your kids? Is there a park close by she can hang out with her friends? One of my friends, whose son turned 12 on his birthday, she had him and a couple of his buddies go to the movies by themselves! I don't know much anything else, Ethan is only 9, I have some time.
It is funny the things I remember doing when I was 12. I remember babysitting for our neighbor ALL DAY when I was 11. I walked to our little gas station too which was about the same distance as your 7-11. When I was 12 and in the 7th grade I walked home from school which was probably a good 2 miles or more. It is hard to let go sometimes. I know I am pretty paranoid about my own kids and the things I let them do. It is a hard call. Let me know what you come up with.
I know I am holding on too tight.
Wow, brings back so many memories! WE always walked to the candy store at Grandma's. It was probably four blocks away and I remember doing it at age 8 or 9 with another cousin. At 12 we got to visit Grandma's by ourself and my uncle dropped my cousin and I off in SLC for a few hours to go the mall. So maybe don't drop her off in DC, but a solo trip to the mall with a friend would be appropriate.
I also remember going to the movies, walking to the library, and walking to sewing lessons after school around that age. It seemed so natural back then, yet these suggestions are coming from a mom who's only let her kids play outside semi-supervised once. haha I'm trying to be better too!
Maybe suggest she go with a friend? I have been reading that blog (when they post) interesting stuff, and it's making me question my own tactics. :)
At 12, I walked to and from Mesa View just about every day, crossing a pretty busy street (Edwards is even busier now, D).
Could Mikayla go to the movies with friends or be dropped off at a cafe for lunch or go with buddies to the county fair for a couple hours or spend a week at summer camp? I'm trying to remember milestones at age 12... but that seems so long ago ;)
buy her a car. nothing says you are free to do what you want like a car.
I grew up babysitting at age 8, walking a mile each way to elementary school, and playing for hours on end in the neighborhood and yet I, too struggle giving the kids increased freedom. It just seems "different" these days and each new freedom I give them is truly painful for me.
I will tell you that it's REALLY nice to have a built-in babysitter in the house!
First, give her time to get used to the idea and don't push it if she balks (I liked the suggestions about outings w/friends).
Even though they complain about them sometimes, kids equate rules and boundaries with love. It's important that Mikayla understands that you haven't stopped caring about what happens to her at this time; perhaps you could explain that it's time for a new set of boundaries that requires increased responsibility now that she is growing older :)
I remember at 12 I use to walk home from junior high, a 45 minute walk then to the elementary to pick up my little brother. Then home for homework. At 12 I did go to the mall for a couple of hours with some friends. I use to walk to the gas station to by myself and with friends. Try to see if you can find a friend close by to do stuff with.
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